Spring Awakening

For those of you that thought I went out for a pack of smokes, never to return, I am here to soothe your frazzled nerves. I did all sorts of crazy things like lose my job (which seems to be really weighing heavily on Richard Branson), switch to all-grain brewing, and start Carbon Nation Homebrewing with some friends. It's been an interesting couple of months, so I'll catch you up with what I've been making.


First, I bottled the 2008 Riesling, which was chronicled extensively in this space. I won't get into the difficulties of getting the raw materials, but I will say that it was worth the effort. I haven't tried the Gran Reserva version of this wine...saving that for a special occasion where I need a wildcard that could either send everything over the edge into sublime perfection or crash the plane into the mountain.

2008 Riesling has some nice fruity character, light body, slightly spicy. It's a perfect summer wine, and Lady Bullock and I sampled some this weekend. I am actually not ashamed to give this to people

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Ctrl-Alt-Delete was the first batch of 2009. Altbier is a German-style, malty ale that's lightly hopped. I like this quite a bit, but some bottles came out undercarbonated. Nice deep copper color, good flavor with a little tinge on hop at the end.

This beer was devoid of drama in all stages of brewing, which makes for good beer, but poor blogging.

Let's just say that I had to fight off a gang of undead shaolin monk grave robbers while I brewed to make it more interesting. It was difficult, but I did it.

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Ol' Murderin' Prospector is my attempt at the California Common beer style, of which Anchor Steam is the prime example. This was the first batch that I screwed up royally, only to find that the beer kept evolving after fermentation and is now my favorite.

When I racked it out of secondary, I was sure that the beer was ruined. It was still sweet as all hell, but I accidentally added priming sugar before I checked, so the only thing I could do was bottle and hope for the best.

At first tasting, the beer was still very sweet, but drinkable. It was after a month in the bottle that it really came alive. Still has a little sweetness, but it's not overpowering any more. This has turned into a really nicely balanced beer. Too bad I'm down to only 8 bottles left.

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Aztec Ale was my first big experiment. I'd been reading about non-barley grains to use in beer in Radical Brewing, and thought I'd give it a try. The Aztecs didn't have beer, per se, but if they did, it might go a little something like this.

My base recipe is an American Amber Ale, but I replaced about 10% of the base grain with amaranth and quinoa, two ancient grains that the Aztecs used like they were going out of style. I also added a healthy dose of honey, agave nectar, blood orange rind, and vanilla beans.

I tried this beer out properly for the first time last night, and it came out pretty well. Good amber color, highly carbonated with a good head and nice aroma. It's smooth with a hint of bitterness, which I think comes from the quinoa...definitely not the hops.

I also used some crazy New Zealand hops like Pacific Jade, Nelson Sauvin, and Pacific Sunrise. I will spare you a discussion of their properties.

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I will spare you a lengthy discussion on these two beers. The short version? They suck. They were to be my first two on-tap beers, but alas, it was not to be.

Tobias Funke's Cream Ale became Light Cream Ale when my wort chiller broke mid-chill, sending about 2 gallons of water into the beer after the boil. Ruined.

Pilkington's Pub Ale was a recipe I got out of a book called Beer Captured. I will not brew anything from that book again.

Behold Mr. Roper, the Kegerator. Soon he will be dispensing Sikander the Great IPA, Brother Seamus Irish Red, and Baby Got Bock. It will indeed be a proud day.

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For those of you who haven't had DeuS, you're missing out. It's brewed in Belgium, then shipped to France to be carbonated in the Champagne method. The end result is pretty amazing, with a nice dry beer that has the fine carbonation of a sparkling wine. It's worth shelling out the $30 for a bottle, believe me.

Naturally Pat, Brian and I decided to make some of our own. We had some good times and some bad times along the way, but we ended up with some awesome beer.

The brewing and fermentation went just fine. Since this is a huge beer in terms of alcohol, it took almost a month for fermentation to be completed, then another month in secondary to clear. We bottled it in March, using champagne bottles with regular beer caps. The idea is that you store the bottles upside down and use a process called riddling to move all the yeast to the neck of the bottles. It would have worked had the caps actually fit the top of the bottles. They didn't, though, and we had to cork prematurely, but that happens to everyone, am I right?

So everything went just magically until the day we were to remove the corks and yeast plugs. On the advice of some jerk on the internet, we used acetone and dry ice to freeze the bottles. This turned out to be a poor decision. I will let the video speak for itself.



Needless to say, we quit trying to do that, and are very happy with our yeast in the bottle, thank you very much. But you can look forward to a new ongoing segment we like to call "What horribly dangerous thing will we do next."

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Here's what's fermenting and bottle conditioning:

Sikander the Great IPA is a traditional English IPA. It seems like every craft brewery in the world makes it their purpose in life to make the hoppiest, biggest IPAs under the sun. I'm not down with that. This does have quite a bit of hops in it, but after drinking it, the inside of your mouth doesn't feel like you just acted as the grass clipping bag on a riding lawnmower.

This also has two pounds of jaggery sugar from India, just to see what it's like. It's a little mapley, but smooth.



The Beast of Gevaudan is a big English Barleywine, and the first brew from Carbon Nation, a group of friends who get together once a month to brew.

It looks great and the bottles are awesome. No idea how it tastes or even what it will taste like. Should be ready to drink in 2-3 weeks.






Stairway to Hefeweizen is the second Carbon Nation brew. It's an American-style Hef. Hopefully it tastes like one. Should be ready in 2-4 weeks.










Being made next: Brother Seamus Irish Red, A Rochefort 10 Clone, and many, many more...Don't you go a'changin'.

Fall 2008 Wines - They Actually Taste Like Wine

So much has happened at Huevos Caballos and Bullock's since we last corresponded, dear readers.

I took my 08 wines, the Ruby Cabernet and the Riesling, to the Home Beer Wine & Cheese Shop up in picturesque Woodland Hills, California for their free post-harvest wine clinic. Vinters from all over the area were buzzing around a room that reminded me of the Henrietta, Texas Church of Christ rec center. The main differences were that all the men had beards, and there was not a drop of punch to be had. Related? I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Both wines are within nominal pH ranges, meaning something good, apparently. The Ruby Cab is a beautiful ruby color, proving that whoever named it wasn't an idiot. It's also developing a rich flavor that I would describe as "wine-like," something to which I'm unaccustomed. I would use other foods to describe what it tastes like, but I've found that making wine doesn't make one better at doing that. If pressed into a corner, I would say it tastes like carnitas and buffalo wings. Happy?

Wines change tastes throughout their aging, and I don't think I'll know exactly what they taste like for a few years. The woman we bought the grapes from gave us some of their 2005 vintage from the same vines, but the country elected an intelligent person and pirates have taken over the coast of Somalia since then, so who knows what dazzling flavor characteristics have weaseled their way into the grapes?

You've read all about the Riesling saga, but I'm happy to report that primary fermentation is completed in both the main 5 gallon batch and in the one gallon Gran Reserva batch. They're so new it's hardly describing what they taste like, as sediment is still dropping out and the pH hasn't settled down, but it tastes good. Like spicy white wine. Um, I'm gonna go with cayenne pepper and apple fritters for this one.

I haven't tried the GR, but I'm dying to see the difference. For starters, I used native yeast in the GR, and the White Labs Steinberg-Geisenheim strain for the regular batch. The GR was fermented a little hotter than the regular, and I added yeast nutrient to it as well. Bored yet?

I also bottled the 2008 Wait til They Get a Load of Mead, a sweet honey mead I started on the day The Dark Knight came out. It's a handsome looking mead, a nice golden color that might be mistaken for Sauvignon Blanc or Chardonnay by someone who is unwilling or unable to read the label. The case is currently sitting on the floor in the kitchen, waiting for its moment in the sun...December 13, 2008.

In our semi-regular trips up to the central coast, we've joined a little winery called Sort This Out Cellars, a fairly new but very cool little joint in Buellton. It's run by two guys who used to work together at Club 33 in Disneyland, and has a Rat Pack/Swingers theme to it. We've thoroughly enjoyed every wine we've bought from there and Lauren joined the Wine Club a couple months back.

I've been talking to the owners about my own winemaking for a couple months now, and last time they suggested I bring up some of the mead next time and I can give a little mini-tasting to whoever wants to try it. So if you're not busy on December 13th, come to Buellton, California and drink some mead.

Riesling the Body Electric, Part the Second

It's been almost four weeks since I ordered my pail of Johannisberg Riesling juice from Delta Packing of Lodi, California. My previous shipping attempts failed in grand fashion. FedEx spilled 5 of the first six gallons, but I decided to make wine out of sour grape juice. From this orphaned juice, Huevos Caballos plans to produce five bottles of wild yeast fermented Riesling Gran Reserva, perhaps the most reserva wine ever.

UPS "damaged" the next attempt. There were no survivors.

UPS was again dispatched on Monday of this week, with my shipment to arrive on Wednesday. Wednesday came and went, and Condescending A-Hole #3 at UPS said I would have to wait another day before I could put a tracer on the package.

Thursday morning, I did just that, and, surprise surprise, UPS NEVER EVEN PICKED UP THE PACKAGE. I spoke with the supervisor at the station in Lodi, who also passed UPS condescension school with flying colors, and she told me that Delta didn't put it out. I called Delta back. The guy I spoke with told me that it had been sitting on the dock, but the driver didn't pick it up. She informed me that they would not overnight it to me for no charge. I delicately told her that I found this to be disagreeable, and hung up.

The next call to UPS landed me an elderly sounding C student from UPS Condescension School who told me very nicely that it wasn't their fault and that they would indeed not overnight it to me. I asked her to cancel the order, then sighed heavily.

And then I went crawling back to FedEx. Sure, they're a hair more expensive, but I don't hate them with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

Then something amazing happened. I went to their website, scheduled the pickup, sent Delta the packing slip, and FedEx picked up the package. Then Saturday morning, they brought it to my house. In one piece.

Sure, the box was a little wet, and maybe a little less than half a gallon of juice had leaked out, but with all the drama that accompanied this juice, I would have settled for two gallons and a kick in the jumblies from Pauly Shore.

Thankfully, that didn't happen.

All the juice's numbers seemed to be correct according to my half-assed measurements. The homebrew store in Woodland Hills is testing your wines this weekends for free, so I'll be taking the Riesling and Ruby Cabernet up there for their mid-terms. If they don't pass, no PS3 for a week.

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The 2008 Wait til They Get a Load of Mead is bottled. It's a nice color, the little sip I had of it tasted pretty good, so I'm excited to see what a little bottle aging will do. Only 12 bottles were produced, so this should be in pretty high demand in fantasy town.

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In Bullock's Brewing Co. news, I've bottled Frank Shirley's Christmas Ale and Tobias Funke's Cream Ale, and will be bottling the Belgian Dubbel this weekend. I also started an Ethiopian T'ej, which is a cross between mead and beer. I made a trip to the Ethiopian district on Fairfax to buy a $10 bag of sticks that I need to make it, so good times there.

I also started a Kitchen Sink IPA, the first beer I've ever made using my own recipe. Of course I lost the grain bill and only vaguely remember what I put in there, but I can tell you that it will be a heady, citrusy IPA. I used a liquid and a dry malt extract, and agave syrup as an adjunct. Three different kinds of hops are in there, and I'm dry-hopping some Cascade for good measure. Thus the name. That and, well, it's made in the kitchen sink.

Keep an eye out for your Bullock's Brewing Company Christmas Party invitation...

Riesling the Body Electric

After going around and around with a grape juice supplier, FedEx, UPS, the grape juice supplier again, a priest, a rabbi, and the ghost of a grizzled old prospector, I now know how Rosa Parks felt when she couldn't just get her six goddamn gallons of Riesling juice.

A couple weeks back, I found a supplier online in Northern California who was willing to send your humble diarist six gallons of premium Johannisberg Riesling juice from a reputable vineyard for only $35. I would have to send a nationally recognized transport company out to get the juice who would then use their well-established shipping channels to get it to me, but that was a mere trifle. I ordered a Steinberg Geisenheim yeast, did a little research and idly waited.

The Federal Express Company of Memphis, Tennessee was to pick up my juice on Thursday and deliver it to me on Saturday. As I watched Texas beat the pants off of Missouri that Saturday evening, I watched with great eagerness for gleam of the FedEx truck's headlights against the gray mailbox planted in our front yard.

Sadly, for reasons that I still don't quite have the capacity to understand, that gleam would not shimmer that day.

Tuesday, I drove home expectantly after the Internet had notified me that my sweet, sweet juice would be resting comfortably on the porch, and indeed it was. I knew it would be heavy, probably upwards of 60 pounds.

But the box couldn't have weighed more than 20. Something was amiss.

It was packed especially well. Two pieces of half inch thick plywood sandwiched a six gallon sealed pail, held down tightly by metal bands. This shit wasn't going anywhere.

After considerable effort, I liberated the pail from the metal and plywood, and pried open the sealed pail. Inside, maybe two gallons of white juice that was bubbling like crazy. I was confused. Did the team member I spoke with on the phone send me five liters? Did a roving band of street toughs abscond with my precious juice? As it was well past 6:00 PDT, there would be no way to know until the morning.

FedEx was nice enough. They said that no notes about juice flying all over the fuck had been placed on the shipment. I said thank you to the chap and bid him good day. Then I called the juice monger with that information.

Also very, very accomodating. The guy who packed my order called and assured me that he had indeed packed SIX gallons of pure Johannisberg Riesling. He admitted that they didn't ship a ton of juice, and that most customers came to their warehouse to pick up their orders. It was then that I notified him, in my mind at least, that I was not most customers.

After a few minutes of discussion, he said he'd be happy to send me a new pail for no cost. I thanked him and bid him good day as well, and dispatched a courier from the United Parcel Service of Atlanta, Georgia to him post haste.

After a couple of missed connections, the new pail was picked up on Monday the 27th of October and is currently scheduled to arrive here tomorrow. It is then that we will see if the fates smile upon the Huevos Caballos 2008 Riesling, or if they demand more sacrifice.

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As a brief post script, I should inform you that I'm not going to dispose of the orphaned two gallons of juice like some kid of jerk. It was already well into fermentation by the time I got it, nearly to dryness. Since I hadn't yeasted it up yet, that means that the wild yeasts who summer in the grapes had started their dirty business and had eaten most of the sugar already. If I'm careful, it may produce half a case of Huevos Caballos 2008 Riesling Reserva, an ultra-exclusive wine.

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As another brief post script, I shall now update you on the status of the fruit wines. I racked them all this evening, and they all smell and taste terrible, except the strawberry, which tastes somewhat like something that a human not in prison might wish to drink.