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Thanks to the modern wonder that is John Hodgman, I discovered CRYSTAL HEAD VODKA, a distilled spirit hauked by none other than Elwood Blues. It is, in short, most likely middling quality vodka in a bottle SHAPED LIKE A HUMAN SKULL. Dan Aykroyd explains that Bruni glass of Milan spent over two years developing the skull bottles based on a design by noted artist John Alexander.
I ask you: how am I not supposed to order some?
Distilled? Piss off. Double distilled? Get the eff outta here. TRIPLE distilled? Sir, I demand you leave my parlor at ONCE!
Crystal Head Vodka is quadruple distilled.*
How am I not supposed to order some?
Through Herkimer Diamonds, no less. Until now, I was not aware that jewels of any ilk are important in the distillation process. From now on, I shall put rubies in my wine and emeralds in my beer. Suck it, Mondavi/Jose Cuervo.
I found some at Napacabs.com and placed my order post-haste. I can't imagine what the bottles cost, but at $39.99, I figure the vodka is just a bonus.
A month or so from now, dear readers, you might find yourself smack dab in the middle of a telephonic conversation with your humble diarist similar to the one below.
"Hi Charlie. What's going on?"
"I'm just reclining on a chez lounge, eating a whole roasted chicken."
"That sounds fun."
"Oh, I forgot. I'm also drinking homebrew out of a CRYSTAL SKULL."
* Is this somehow important?
